Parsing The Un-parsable (Car Styling)

"The Giugairo Look" as applied to a sedan, with special reference to the fender flares.  Which are called, I'm told,
box flares.  Ugh.  And lose the BBS-style wheels.  Hotshoe (and for that matter, Killlboy) could not disagree more.
It was this picture of this car that got our discussion rolling.

This post is just for fun.  Weigh in with comments if you like, or grab a gearhead pal and run the experiment yourself.  The title of the post comes from that cliche about not knowing art, but knowing what you like.  If not exactly why.

Hotshoe and I have been fooling with a "10 Best Looking Cars Of All Time" list.  We haven't agreed on a firm set of rules.  It's a work in progress.  One rule is that a car makes our lists on looks only.  "All show and no go" is fine.  Another rule is No Race Cars, Concept Cars, or Radical Customs.  It has to be a real, functional, road car, made in quantity for sale to the general public.

A rule that "just worked out that way" was that the car has to be Postwar.  Doubtless this reflects our Baby Boomer demographic.  Hotshoe snuck the '40 Ford onto his list as an Honorable Mention.  When he did, I threatened to put the 1932 Ford 3-window coupe on my list.  Or the 1932 Alfa Romeo 6C 1750 Gran Sport (which happens to be my favorite prewar car).  As the saying goes, "this way lies madness," so we stuck to 1945-2013. This eliminates half the history of the automobile, but so be it.

We got onto this subject because our taste in styling is different.  Which surprised us, because we are interested in cars in the same ways (principally sports cars and road racing).  Our buttons are pushed in many of the same ways, and we generally like the same kinds of cars.  It took us a long time to discover our differences.  We might not have discovered them except that we happened to dissect the styling of the Ford Focus ST together, point-by-point.  Features of the ST that annoy Hotshoe, or that he finds downright ugly, bother me not--and vice versa.  When we started talking about other cars, and got deep into the catalog (and the weeds), we discovered that our tastes are way different.  We had no trouble establishing categories, but sometimes disagreed about which car belonged in what category.  I hold that the Audi Quattro is a sedan.  But let it pass, let it pass...   ;-)

The late, and mostly unlamented, Chevy Cobalt: a non-starter with Hotshoe but a winner with Pilote--even with its
bustle-butt rear end.

Although we're both inclined to deny it, one of our differences is that I generally prefer rounded shapes and Hotshoe generally prefers "the Giugairo [folded paper] look."  But that distinction can't be pushed too far: the XK-E was a no-brainer for both of us and the Mini (both old and new) is rounded only at the corners.  Our lists share only two cars, although the Lotus Elan and the Mazda Miata look similar. Some of our personal faves didn't make the cut.  For example, I think the Porsche 911 is one of the most beautiful cars of the past 50 years--but not as beautiful as the Ferrari 250 GT SWB.

Anway.  Here are our lists so far.  (A problem with this exercise is that it's subject to whim and revision. Or, as Hotshoe puts it, "emotional ties and mental defects.")  What have we overlooked?  Where do you agree/disagree?  Hotshoe even nominated some alternates.  (I was too exhausted from paring my list down to ten to do so.)  Here are his "almost made the cut" cars: '81 Scirocco, '72 Vega, '40 Ford, '88 Maserati BiTurbo, early Miata, '63 Corvette, Ford GT.


                                                      Pilote                                              Hotshoe
                                                             
subcompact sedan                        New Mini                                       Old Mini (Cooper)
compact sedan                              Gen. 8 Honda Civic                       2003 Ford Focus ZX5
mid-sized sedan                            1986 Ford Taurus                          1993 BMW 525i
luxury sedan                                 1968-73 Jaguar XJ-6                     1991 BMW 850i                          

small open sports                          early Mazda Miatas                        1962 Lotus Elan
mid-size open sports                     Jaguar XK-E (Series I)                   same              
sports coupe                                  Acura Integra RSX ('01-'06)          1983 Audi Quattro
pony car                                        Gen. 2 Camaro ('70-'73)                 1967 Shelby GT 500

grand touring                                Ferrari 250 GT SWB                      same
supercar                                         Lamborghini Miura                       1972 DeTomaso Pantera

No disagreement here: we both think the Ferrari 250 GT SWB is the best-looking GT in the past 60+ years.  (The GTO
was a race car.)  Consider the GT's that didn't make our lists: Mercedes-Benz 300SL, any number of other Ferraris,
any Corvette coupe, and more recent/modern classics.  Poker Tell: we like long hoods and short decks.

Kenny Brack Wrestling A Ford GT 40 In The Rain

One of the two Essex Wire GT 40's at LeMans in 1966.  Both were DNF with engine failure.  This one was driven by
Jochen Neerpasch (normally a Porsche pusher) and Jacky Ickx (later to win championships in the GT 40's run
by John Wyer in Gulf Oil colors).  The other car was driven by Skip Scott and Peter Revson.  Essex ran
GT 40's in Europe and Cobras in the States with some success in the mid 1960's.

Here's a good video of Adrian Newey's ex-Essex Wire GT 40 in the rain at the Goodwood Revival in September.  And some commentary by Kenny Brack about rain driving.  Newey has made enough money, being the premier racing aerodynamicist of recent decades (most recently for Red Bull), to indulge his passion for vintage racing.  (He co-drove with Brack.)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?annotation_id=annotation_2827047481&feature=iv&src_vid=1jF__B1xpJY&v=3zMGR9qjj4I

And for those who want more, here's five minutes of nothing but in-car.  Kenny was a busy boy:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1jF__B1xpJY&feature=youtu.be&annotation_id=annotation_1162010291&feature=iv&src_vid=3zMGR9qjj4I

The GT 40 is one of the most beautiful GT racers ever built in the opinion of many (including me).  And, for us Americans, there was admiration and patriotism: "Ford can build a car capable of winning LeMans and stomping Ferrari in the bargain?  No kidding!?!"  (Ferrari dominated LeMans in the 1950's and early 1960's.)  To this day, I suspect that I bought cars as terrible as the Mercury Zephyr and as forgettable as the Ford Escort partly because of what Ford accomplished with the GT 40 and the Cosworth V-8.

Meep Meep

One meep, actually: this is the Road Runner brought up-to-date on the Dragon.  En Garde!, Fastest Foreigner and Killboy.  Those footsteps you hear are Leighann and Killgurl.  ;-)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=giq95tDe9io

Race Announcer Cliches, Translated

Here's a post that seems appropriate for the end of the racing season.

It would be a fine thing if there were a way to mute TV race reporters and color commentators without muting the sounds of the race.  Aside from breaking news, there is very little to say about a race that hasn't been said countless times.  Attentive viewers can suss out 80% of what's going on without being told.  Here's a Short Dictionary Of Hype & Dissembling: what announcers say, and what they really mean.


"This track is great if you get it right; but if you get it wrong, it will bite you."  We never describe a course as a boring turkey.  We're hoping to provide you with plenty disintegrating carbon fiber and bent aluminum.

"XYZ Racing is off the pace, but they've been working hard on getting more speed and reliability into the car."  They haven't got a clue.

"Whoa!  That was a brave move!"  The overtaking driver got away with it.

"Whoa!  That was a brave move!"  The overtaken driver was points-racing and gave the corner away.

"Well, as you can see from our pit lane interviews, Ricky Bobby looks at it one way, and Jean Luc sees it differently.  You've seen the tape.  So maybe it was just one of those racing incidents."  The overtaking driver didn't get away with it.  The commentator doesn't want to burn any bridges because he needs interviews from both teams for the rest of the season.

"Here's the in-car!  We've been talking about Cajones-Grandes's handling problems.  Let's ride along through these bends to telestrate and analyze."  The Director is about to cut to five mid-pack cars running like a train.

"We'll go side-by-side for this commercial break, so you don't miss a thing."  The window will be 15% of your home screen size, and something big, best seen in a tight shot, is about to happen.

"Well, as you saw while we were away..."  See above.  Sometimes we cut to a commercial just before scheduled pit stops, to aggravate you.

"Webber has driven a brilliant race, but he's losing half a second per lap to Vettel.  And he still needs to change to the super-softs to meet the rules.  I'd call him in now.  Would you call him in, Steve?"  AS IF Red Bull team management would call Webber in to improve his chances of winning the race, with Vettel's World Championship on the line.  We're just fooling with you newbie race viewers.

"Those Goodstonemichelellis are great race tires.  You'd love a set of their street tires on your car.  We haven't had a problem all season.  So I'm sure these failures are due to track conditions or debris."  Uh oh... the tire manufacturer brought the wrong compounds.  

"Well, you can clearly see a dry line developing, but it's still pretty wet out there and the clouds haven't parted."  Timing-wise, changing from wets to drys is always a crap shoot.  We don't have a clue.  Some teams will change tires before others, but none of them are about to tell our pit reporters.  Oh, and this would be a good time to cut to a commercial.

"The pit window is 18 to 19 laps."  It's 16 to 21 laps.

"Here's a clip."  Another yellow flag!  This race is boring beyond belief.  Our ratings are in free fall.  Maybe we can keep you from channel-surfing or mowing the lawn by running a canned, cliche-ridden feature.

Purdy Car, Purdy Picture

Peter Collins, Ferrari Dino 246, British Grand Prix, 1958.

Off Topic: "The General Diffusion Of Knowledge"

That's a Thomas Jefferson sound byte, I think.  He was for it.  (Not everyone is, these days.)

I'm downsizing my household, a well-known byproduct of ancien-ness.  One category of things I have way too many of is books: car books, biographies, histories.

I'm in the mood to donate, so I called my local library.  "Actually, we can't use 'em," the librarian said.  "We don't blow donors off, because it's not good community relations.  But, truth to tell, we recycle [shred] anything that comes in our front door from the general public."

So I called a prison.  "The few books we have are in terrible shape," the librarian said, "so we're not looking for more."  I'm still trying to understand that.

So I called my local middle school.  "Most of the books I want to donate are car books, which I think would appeal to middle school-aged boys."  "Oh yeah," the librarian said.  I continued: "But the rest of them are very adult stuff on history and politics, maybe more suitable for college-aged kids."

"No problem.  I know this guy who has a program to donate books to underserved areas of Appalachia.  What I do is go though your stuff, keep what I or the high schools can use, and give the rest to him.  He packs 'em up and drives 'em down there a couple of times a year to outfits who want them.  Phone me before you come and I'll meet you at the front door."

I guess nobody reads books any more--at least that's what I see on TV.  ;-)  But my middle school librarian and I, we're gonna go down on the Good Ship Gutenberg, with our colors flying.

Last Of This Season's Car Show Pix

There's no particular justification for this selection from among the 250 cars or so that I saw in September, other than I liked 'em.

'65 at the Meadowdale show.

'64 at my local show.  There seems to be a pattern here.  Is Pilote a bigger fan of the Sting Ray than he knew?

I'll have one from Column A and one from Column B, please.

The Porsche is an original, unrestored '73 (except for a repaint), all the more remarkable for having spent its entire
life in the Milwaukee-Chicago area.

If your TC's this pristine, you can wear whatever clothes and hirsuteness you like to a car show...

  Does anyone besides Pilote remember Judson Superchargers of Conshohocken,
Pennsylvania?  Bolt-on, driven by an extra V-belt from the crankshaft pulley.
About 15 lbs. of boost, as I recall.  MGA and VW Beetle applications were,
I think, the most popular applications.  Love the vanity plate!

Pilote's monomania: minimalism.  I think that I think this is the prettiest Ford 3-window I've seen because of the great
looking metallic pewter paint and the lack of flames and pin-striping: Nothin' But The Car.

The fuel injection (Hilborn?) cleans up the top of the engine.

Old-timey circular pedal pads, but they're suspended like modern ones (not pivoting below the floor).  Have you ever
seen a 3-window that looked like it had a comfortable driving position?